No Way! Are You Serious?!

We were on our way to church. I was clad in Barong Tagalog, and so was everybody else (except for the ladies, of course). My Mom seemed excited over what was going to happen. It was not until after a few minutes that I realized we were on our way to a wedding. I wondered whose wedding it was. When we arrived at the church, I found out that the wedding’s motif was yellow. Everything seemed nice. But still, one question bothered me: who’s getting married? Then, it suddenly dawned on me. I was getting married. What?! What the heck was that? As far as I can remember, I’m gay and I had no girlfriend. But no, everything seemed so real. It was really happening. I even knew the name of the girl I was marrying.

I was so shocked and did not know how to react. How could it happen? At that moment, I was already thinking of whether to push through with the wedding, and make my life even more miserable by living a lie, or just abandon the bride and embarrass everyone. I wanted to scream. I felt I was cheated because somehow a wedding was arranged between me and someone without me knowing it until the day of the wedding. I couldn’t breathe. And then...

I was on my bed. I was not wearing any Barong. I was in my room. It was all just a dream...err, a nightmare! Thank God! Whew! What a relief! :p If it had been for real, I would have chosen to be a runaway bride, err... I mean groom.

>>How about you? If in real life you were forced to marry a girl, would you give in?

Anti-Discrimination in the Philippines

As I was reading through my blog subscriptions this morning, I came across AJ's entry on what we should know about the Anti-Discrimination Bill (HB 956), which he got from Jonas Bagas. After reading the entry, I checked the House of Representatives website to check the status of the bill. Here is what I found:

HB00956

Session No.: 14-1RS-006

Significance: N

Date Filed: 2007-07-10

Full Title: AN ACT PROHIBITING DISCRIMINATION ON THE BASIS OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND GENDER IDENTITY AND PROVIDING PENALTIES THEREFOR

Short Title: "Anti-Discrimination Act"

Principal Author: HONTIVEROS-BARAQUEL, ANA THERESIA "RISA"

Date Read: 2007-08-01

Primary Referral: HUMAN RIGHTS

Bill Status: Pending with the Committee on HUMAN RIGHTS since 2007-08-01

*Source: House of Representatives. House Bills and Resolutions Online Query

It's sad to know that the bill as filed during the 14th Congress is still pending at the committee level 10 months after it's referral. But what's more saddening is the fact that LGBT groups have been pushing for this since 1999, according to Mr. Jonas Bagas. I am hoping that this bill becomes a law soon, but to do that, there is a great need to educate and enlighten those who are against it, and to gain the support of those who are inclined not to act for or against the approval of the bill. While this blog may only be visited by a few, I am still hoping that I could help in little ways for this cause.

Allow me to repost an excerpt of Mr. Bagas' entry:

Ten things you need to know about the Anti-Discrimination Bill:

Fight for equal rights for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders (LGBTs) by pushing for the passage of the Anti-Discrimination Bill (HB 956) authored by AKBAYAN Rep. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel.

Here’s what the bill is all about:

Equal rights, not special rights. The bill does not grant additional or special rights to LGBTs. What it does is criminalize violations to the human rights and freedoms on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. The bill affirms and promotes human rights and freedoms that are enshrined in the Constitution.

Equality in schools. The bill prohibits discrimination against LGBT students, which usually takes place through unfair admission policies, unjust expulsion, and unreasonable disciplinary actions.

Equal opportunities in employment. By criminalizing unfair labor practices and policies on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, the bill promotes decent jobs for LGBT workers.

Removing stigma in healthcare. The bill bans hospitals, clinics, and medical personnel like doctors and nurses from discriminating against or abusing LGBT patients.

Fighting police abuse. Stiffer penalties are imposed on law enforcers who abuse the law – from bagansya to the anti-trafficking law - to harass, torture, or extort money from LGBTs.

Organizing for LGBT pride. The bill affirms the freedom of assembly and association by disallowing discrimination in the establishment of LGBT groups in schools, workplace, communities and in politics.

Equal access to establishments. The bill ensures that establishments that are open to the public like malls, restaurants, and bars, among others, are open to all, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Gays and lesbians in the police and military. The police and military are barred from screening out competent LGBTs who want to join the force. Under the bill, they are also not allowed to remove LGBT policeman or woman and soldiers due to their sexual orientation and gender identity.

Penalizing discrimination. Under the bill, a person found guilty of discriminating against LGBTs can be fined up to P500,000 and/or imprisoned for a maximum of six years. S/he may also be required to undergo human rights education.

About non-discrimination, not same-sex marriage. Homophobic groups wrongfully claim that the bill is about same-sex marriage. Here’s the truth: 1.) the legal recognition of same-sex marriage requires a separate bill, and; 2.) there is absolutely nothing wrong about consensual same-sex relationships.

Is it too much to ask not to be treated as second-class citizens? Please, WE DO NEED THIS BILL SIGNED INTO LAW!

New Poll!

I've created a poll on my blog (located at the upper right corner) and I ask readers to cast their votes by completing the following statement:

Sexuality/Sexual Orientation is a product of...

a. nature alone.
b. nurture alone.
c. both, but more of nature.
d. both, but more of nurture.

Please vote, and for discussion, you may post a comment here or email me at yourgayness@gmail.com. Thanks a lot!

Lying as Second Nature?

"Lying becomes second nature." -- Michael Novotny (to Tracy, Queer as Folk Season 1 Episode 11)

Michael was referring to what he thinks happens to gays who are in the closet. To some extent, it is true. People like us who stay in the closet maintain a façade that is acceptable to the basically homophobic society. By carrying ourselves as straight persons in the public eye and by living our sexuality only when with a select few, we are in a way lying, though not deliberately, but involuntarily, because we are forced to lie about ourselves. I think to some degree, this is acceptable and understandable. But only to some degree. We should be careful so as to avoid making lying and pretension a permanent part of our character. But how are we gonna do that if we are still forced by the circumstances to live a big lie? Where do we draw the line between a lie which is acceptable and necessary for staying in the closet, and a lie which is despicable even in the closeted queer's eye?

"Dad, I'm Straight."

I was watching Queer as Folk Season 4 Episode 11, and there was a scene where Michael expressed his worries about Hunter--his and Ben's foster son--being straight. Those of us who watched the show know that Hunter was a hustler, with gay guys as patrons, when Mikey and Ben took him in. It was but natural for the couple to expect and assume that their Hunter boy is a gay boy. Unfortunately, as of Episode 11 Season 4, it seems that Hunter realized he is straight [poor guy, LOL]. Anyway, he was of course hesitant to tell his parents about it because they were gay.When he finally decided to spill the beans, his folks were quite in shock. In the succeeding bed scene between Mikey and Ben [oops, I meant to say the scene where they were discussing while in bed, haha, just trying desperately to titillate your senses], Michael kinda worried about Hunter. Why? He was worried because he feels it would be difficult to deal with him being straight because he--Mikey, that is--has no idea what it's like to be in a heterosexual relationship. He remarked that perhaps Hunter would be better off with straight parents. Ben countered that there's no problem with Hunter being straight--gay or straight, he's still their son.

And then it hit me.

Even though I am gay, I sometimes dream of having my own child, preferably a biological one [the probability of which is very low if not none at all, since I am really not attracted to girls], or if not, even an adopted one. But oftentimes, I wonder how I would deal with my child if he/she turns out to be straight, or turns out to be gay. If the child is straight, he/she might eventually question my sexuality. If he/she is gay, it could be cool but the problem is that he/she could go through the same agony that people like us experience. As of now, I am still unsure if I can handle having a child in the future. But I'd like to know your opinion [especially calling the attention of gay parents out there] on this: What would you like your child to be: straight or gay? Why?