Saturday, July 04, 2009

Some Random Thoughts

Last Father's Day, I received a call from my Dad. I greeted him, and we talked for a while. He asked me how I was, in terms of work, health, etc. Then he asked me: Are you planning to stay single all your life? (My immediate family knows I'm gay, but so far, only my sister is okay with it. My parents are okay with it as long as I don't act on it. Kumusta naman 'yon di ba?!) I was stunned and speechless. Fortunately, he followed the question with the statement that I should ask God what His plan for me is, etc. So I just replied that I'm doing it. Well, I really am asking God to show me His plan for me, but still I hope He gives me a guy to be my partner, if He wills it. :p I wish I had the strength to tell this to my Dad, but I didn't want to ruin his special day. Still, I'm hoping the day will come that He, along with the rest of my family, would be okay with it.

Just the other day, my colleagues and I were talking about sexuality. I was surprised to learn that one of them was very okay with her friends being gay, and that she was even trying to pair two of them up. I was almost tempted to come out to them that day, but still, I didn't feel like I have to announce it. It has been my decision that in coming out to friends and other people, I must not tell them I'm gay unless they ask. The problem is they don't ask. They didn't even ask me that day. So I'm still stuck in my closet. Anyway, I have a feeling that this colleague of mine will sooner or later ask me, because I think she already saw my gay blog subscriptions more than a year ago when she suddenly used my PC. (so careless, haha. buti na lang RSS feeds lang yung nakita nya at walang kasamang NSFW images). She never asked me about it though. :D Maybe if I add her to my Facebook friends, she would see my fan pages on several gay-themed movies. Haha. And then I would have the chance to come out to her. Or maybe I won't. Bahala na si Batman! :D


DN said...

wow. nagbalik ka. :)

welcome back. i hope you find your way. :)

ian said...

@DN, hehehe thanks! tagal ko nawala... pasulpot-sulpot lang. :D take care always. :)

DATS said...

hey Ian...I think your friends are aware of it (i guess) maybe they just want you to tell them first, perhaps they don't want you to be unfortable....All the bets to you and hope you'll find what youre looking for...
its been a while for your post.

ian said...

@DATS, hehehe, maybe you're right. thanks so much. whatever happens, i hope they would accept me for who i am. :) thanks again.