I was having a casual conversation with my mom and dad when suddenly, the topic shifted to my sexuality. My father began questioning me if I go out on dates with guys, to which I answered, "No." And I told him I couldn't even if I want to because he and Mom wouldn't let me. Even if I live apart from them, I am dead scared when meeting guys because I worry that someone we know might see me and tell my parents about it.
Suddenly, my dad told me, "Okay, you can date guys." I noticed my mom pinch my dad's hand as if telling him not to let me, but my dad stuck with the permission he gave me. I was so happy. Finally I can go out without worrying that my parents would disown me or that they would get hurt when they find out or whatever. I felt a newfound happiness, because a heavy burden was removed from my heart.
Then I heard my phone ring. I thought it was a call from someone. My joy turned into dismay when I realized that it was my alarm to wake up. Everything had only been a dream! A dream which I think would not come true given how my parents view homosexuality.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Okay, Son, You Can Go Out on Dates
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18 comments:
Ouch... that was disheartening. I was all so joyful reading the first paragraphs until I read the anticlimactic end...
@drake
yeah... imagine how sad i was when i realized i was just dreaming. oh well, that's life!
tsk tsk. sayang. ansaya na sana.
@dam-dam
yeah, sayang talaga... what if i take it as a sign that it's time to talk to them about this again?
you got me there (pareho kami ni drake ng naramdaman). kala ko totoo na.
owel, every thing will fall into place at the right time.
uuugghhh...i was all smiled out reading the first few lines!....watta-dismay! ...sad....
It be nice if this was the case for real. :)
@the nomad, dats, and queer ranter,
yeah, what more can i say? i was really sad... oh well... maybe i should bring this topic up again in real life? what do you think? my problem is getting the proper timing.
super argh moment ito.
but yeah, maybe you should talk about this with your parents. i know how difficult your situation is...
while I already live independently of my folks (since I risked everything by leaving 4 years ago) I don't have to deal with awkward situations like this as much as I used to apart from the times when I visit the house.
then again, I can't talk about anything remotely gay and I pretend to be the straight (or at least very discrete) son and was previously scolded for even using the term "We" and "us" in telling stories and updates about my life.
oh well.
@vampire angelus
thanks! i guess so too. i MUST talk with them about this.
@rocky
good for you, although it still is difficult to have to hide yourself when with them. but at least you have a certain level of freedom that i don't have. thanks for dropping by! :)
When I was young I was always dreaming about my girl crush then magigising na lang sa umga hindi pala totoo....teka PLU na pala ako ngaun noh?
Oh well, regarding that, dreams is one sketchy manifestations of our inner desire. I dont know you personaly and this is my first time in your blog but interpreting your gream is quite easy for me so here it goes: You seating in a table with your family means your family life holds a siginificant importance in your life. In fact it is the center of it. You think you have been raised as a well mannered kid honed to the "traditional" principles of your parents. You are frustated for not being the "ideal" child to your parents and holds a heavy feeling of guilt in your heart. You are torned between your principles and your emotions....
(take note piloto po ako hindi dream interpreter,pero hindi ko lang maiwasang magreply sa mga taong nagboblog ng panaginip nila hahaha!,tanx for dropping by my blog)
ouch oi talga..
buti nalng my mom knows.
i told her over the phone 'coz she's a thousand miles away.
and she's pretty much okai with it.
but my dad?
hmmm. doesn't ask questions related to that subject because he is still preoccupied with my gay brother who brings his so called "bestfriend" sa hauz
@the gripen
thanks... wow that was quite a good interpretation. you're right, my family is the center of my life. that is why it hurts too much because they can't accept me for who i am.
@chase
good for you. i'm happy that your mom's okay with it. as for your dad, i hope he'd be okay with it when he finds out. but first, i hope he would accept your brother for who he is too. wait... does your brother know that you know? hehe.
i think he knows that i know.
he's pretty much obvious.
but you know. denial ang show.
ala namang magawa si papa eh.
nagrereklamo xa pero wala na eh. heheheh.
i think ur daddy will be fine.
as long as we don't hurt other people and we are happy about it..
it very much fine. hehe
Actually, I had always feared that my mom would not understand me, but after I reached 30, she became more understanding of me. Just give them time. :-) Good things happen eventually to those who wait.
@chase
hehe, ganun ba? ayaw pa umamin sa yo... well, i hope eventually our dads will be fine with it. hehe.
@marcus
thanks. good for you. well i hope that they will understand me soon enough. i don't think i could wait til i'm 40 or 50... hay. i came out to them way back in feb 2004 and after almost four years, there seems to be no sign that they will ever accept me for who i am.
ahw that was really disheartening! tama si drake. happy p nmn aq 4 u, den panaginip lng pla. tsk tsk.. haaaaaaaaay buhay! xD cheer up girl!
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