There's nothing more important than my wish to be accepted wholeheartedly by my family and friends. It has been almost four years since I came out to my family, and almost six years after I came out to some close friends. But still, I don't see even a remote possibility that they would understand that there's nothing I can do about it. When it comes to my family, we just end up having a heated argument whenever this issue is raised. With friends, we don't even get the chance to talk about it, but some of them manage to get the message across that they are not okay with it, usually through subtle remarks.
Last Saturday morning, I received a text message from one friend. The message read, "It's really sad that in this world, people would rather see two men holding guns, killing each other, than to see two men holding hands, loving one another." I forwarded it to my straight friends who know about me and to my sister. Nobody reacted, except for my sister. She just replied, "Kuya!" I didn't know what to make of it, so I shifted to another topic when I replied. When she came home, she didn't say a word about it.
In the afternoon, while we were at the Blue Magic stall in Megamall, she told me about this cute guy who was also there. When I told her that I also noticed the guy, she replied, in a tone that seemed annoyed, "Kuya, ayan ka na naman!" She already reacted that way to think that I just found the guy attractive. Wala pa akong boyfriend sa lagay na 'yan ha?
I asked a friend to give his comment about my sister's reactions and he thought that my sister has not yet accepted my sexual orientation. And he is right.
It's sad that the ones who I hoped would understand me are the ones who are hurting me the most.
Well, it has been like that for the past four to six years. I just hope 2008 would be a better year.
Monday, January 14, 2008
My Most Important Wish this Year
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12 comments:
Act like everything you do is the most natural thing to do. They'll get used to it.
In a way I am fortunate to be away from family. I do not seem to need their validation at all. At least one can choose one's friends.
bro, ang hirap naman niyan. kung ako siguro, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.
pero, maiintindihan din nila iyan. hindi man sila agree, dadating ang araw na maiintindihan nila na ganyan ka na. ganito na tayo. my dad is conservative, pulitiko. my mom is a devoted catholic. pero when it comes to me, they bend and give way naman sa choice ko.
kahit ano pa tayo, basta we act respectable, mauunawaan din nila yan. mahirap lang kase ipaliwanag na hindi lahat ng "gay" ay manikyurista at mangungulot.
@quentin x and carl
thanks for the advice. sana nga matanggap na nila ako nang tuluyan.
honey! its ok.
tell turn around eventually..
my mom knows and she's pretty much okai with it. she even jokes a lot about whose celebrity i got a crush on. and she teased me when i asked for money to watch the concert of the gay couple sam and piolo.. allegedly.
as for my brother and sister.. we have a don't ask don't tell policy..
but im pretty much sure they get me.. and i get them..
don't worry ha..
all is well. real friends are the ones who is accept for who you are.
and as for your family. time will tell.
@chase
thanks so much. i really hope things would turn out well. you're lucky that your mom is so cool with it. :)
I think this will give them something to ponder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_10qgC1aAI
@jericho
thanks so much! nice video.
Masusuklian din ang katapangan mo. Magiging maayos din ang lahat. ^^
Hmmm... Sa mga ganyan, its best not to remind them na lang. Out of sight, out of mind. Over time, matatanggap ka din.
In my case, my siblings don't mind me anymore. Nasanay na. I even bring my boyfriend over to spend the night and di nila pinapansin and they are also quite civil with him (although feeling ko this has to do with the fact that they'd rather I go out with someone decent then go trolling in the streets of Manila). We have an unspoken rule though not to tell our parents. Hahaha.
you're lucky to have them. hehe... in my case, feeling ko talaga isusumbong ako ng kapatid ko sa parents namin. anyway, thanks! sana nga matanggap na nila ako soon. :)
Hi...I came out 3 years ago and like you, my family never ask me about it anymore. I'm not sure if they are still in denial, but I told myself, it doesn't matter anymore. I came out and they now know what the deal is. Dude, enjoy life and try to be comfortable n your own skin...Good luck!
~Kinesics
@kinesics, thanks for the encouragement... i'm trying to... by the way, i came across your blog... nice ha... :) thanks for dropping by.
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