New Poll!

I've created a poll on my blog (located at the upper right corner) and I ask readers to cast their votes by completing the following statement:

Sexuality/Sexual Orientation is a product of...

a. nature alone.
b. nurture alone.
c. both, but more of nature.
d. both, but more of nurture.

Please vote, and for discussion, you may post a comment here or email me at yourgayness@gmail.com. Thanks a lot!

Still John Uy

"This will not be the last time you'll hear from me..." -- John James Uy, Be Bench Grand Finals Night, September 11, 2007

I already knew that Carlo won since it was in the papers last week. (Congratulations to Carlo's fans!) Last night, I watched the event on TV, just so I could see how John fared in the finals. He was still the hottest! I must admit though that he looked as if he doesn't know where to go during the segment where they had wings.

When they announced that John is eliminated, I felt his pain. Awang-awa ako sa kanya. I felt like I wanted to be there and hug him and tell him it's okay (Haha, grabe na ito, IN MY DREAMS!!!).

I think he expected that he will win, or make it to the top four at the very least. He really looked shocked. I even thought he was gonna cry. But no, he did not. And that made me like him even more. I really wanted him to win the competition. Carlo was not my favorite, though he was really the first guy I noticed when I first watched Be Bench. And I admit he has a pretty face and a cute smile. But as the show went on, I lost interest in him. Oh well, that's life. They all deserve to be there, anyway.

Basta ako, kay John pa rin ako! Hehe. Hottest ever!

John Uy, I love you!

I just loooove John Uy, one of the finalists in Be Bench, The Model Search of Bench and ABS-CBN. Every episode, he looks better and better. I actually thought that he looked familiar. And then, while I was watching TV one boring afternoon, I saw this Jollibee nacho commercial and saw him there! He was one of the two guys who kept on repeating what the girl said about the new Jollibee product. Haha, so that was it. I'm rooting for him in the finals.

For his photos, go to the bench model search website here.

Thankful for Open-Minded Friends

I've been soooo busy for the past weeks. Anyway, I just want to share that two weeks ago, I came out to a friend. We were chatting via Yahoo Messenger, and our conversation went to a topic on speed dating. I told her that I'd love to try it, but that I just couldn't. When she asked me why, I told her, "I don't go for girls." And she laughed and then thanked me for the trust I gave her. She even told me that she kinda figured it out. Whew, it was actually a relief. Friend, if you happen to read this, I just wanna say THANK YOU!

By the way, my friend, don't forget to invite me when your no-girls speed dating is final, okay? Hehe. Just wanna give it a try.

What's with Elevators with Mirror Walls?

Yesterday morning, as I was waiting at the elevator lobby (by the way, there was a cute guy there--hehe), two elevators opened at almost the same time. The first to open was the service elevator. All of us would have been accommodated. But this girl who was with the cute guy wanted to use the other elevator. When the cute guy asked why she doesn't want to ride the service elevator, all she said was: "Walang salamin diyan! (There's no mirror there!)" And then I told myself, "This girl is too choosy for wanting an elevator with mirror walls. And because of that, I was not able to ride the elevator with the cute guy! Hmp! (I was already inside the service elevator when I learned that they would use the other one. LOL)" What's so important with being in an elevator with mirror walls? It freaks me out because I feel so exposed (Haha, feeling...). Later that day, I found a good reason to want to ride an elevator with mirrors. Wanna know why?

As my colleagues and I went to the 4th level parking to buy lunch, I stayed near the elevator control panel. Then as the elevator stopped and opened by a floor, two cute guys came in. And they went straight to a corner where I can see their reflections from where I was. Oh, it was such a lovely sight. I had a good look at one of them, and he was my kind of guy: skinhead, fair-skinned, and so masculine. Haha. His pink shirt added to his good looks. While I had no idea whether or not he is gay (although he also glanced at me for a few times), at least I was able to savor every moment that I was looking at him through the elevator's mirror walls.

P.S.
Remember the first cute guy I mentioned at the beginning of this post? I saw him again this morning and we rode the same elevator. He went off at the 9th floor. Hmm... now I know. Problem is, I don't have the courage to tell him I like him in case I see him again. And I couldn't tell if he's gay or straight. (sigh)

Lying as Second Nature?

"Lying becomes second nature." -- Michael Novotny (to Tracy, Queer as Folk Season 1 Episode 11)

Michael was referring to what he thinks happens to gays who are in the closet. To some extent, it is true. People like us who stay in the closet maintain a façade that is acceptable to the basically homophobic society. By carrying ourselves as straight persons in the public eye and by living our sexuality only when with a select few, we are in a way lying, though not deliberately, but involuntarily, because we are forced to lie about ourselves. I think to some degree, this is acceptable and understandable. But only to some degree. We should be careful so as to avoid making lying and pretension a permanent part of our character. But how are we gonna do that if we are still forced by the circumstances to live a big lie? Where do we draw the line between a lie which is acceptable and necessary for staying in the closet, and a lie which is despicable even in the closeted queer's eye?

A Very Beautiful Morning

That's because I happen to sit beside a goodlooking guy here inside the FX. I always fall for skinhead chinito guys, especially when they seem distant and mysterious. If only I could muster the courage to make a move. Whew.